Sunday, June 15, 2014

My Fasha

Well I was thinking about how I haven't blogged in a very long time.

So Father's Day was the perfect excuse to write again.

I haven't quite decided how I wanted to go about writing this post. Do I want to be sentimental? Funny? Crude? I'm good at being all those things.

But there is a subject I wanted to touch on that I haven't really spoken about verbally and the reason why I have this blog is to express some feelings that are easier to write down than say out loud.

My dad is special.
(not like those gotcha day balloons you and mom gave me in 7th grade). 
My dad is not like anyone else. He's of a different species or something.

He doesn't come home and crack open a can of beer. He comes home after work and puts jeans on, not sweatpants. He remembers almost every detail of an event or every birthday of a family member. And he has the cleanest closet you'll ever see.

Much like my grandpa, he is "Mr. Friendly." He can strike up a conversation with almost anyone. Standing in the line at Wal-Mart, waiting at baggage claim, you know he's going to be talking to someone.
He will always go above and beyond for people he cares about and he doesn't think twice about it.
So when my dad was ready to start dating, I was afraid.

I feel as though it's only natural to think or wonder whether or not your parent will love someone new more than they loved your other. But that wasn't my concern.

My concern was that the women that met my dad would fall in love right away and things would move too fast. In my head, most of the women that would be in his "target audience" are those who have been divorced and didn't have a relationship like my parents had. That they were taken advantage of, didn't feel appreciated, or didn't get the support they needed.

When a stranger meets my dad, they will be able to tell instantly that he is the type of man that will be able to take care of him. But that's just who he is as a person. It bothered me that the thought of a woman wouldn't realize how lucky she was to have him in her life. And how lucky she was that we had an unfortunate event in our life that enabled her to be part of his. To say that I was going to be judgmental and critical of who he dated is an understatement.

I always felt protective of him because after my mom passed away, it was me that was there that took care of him. When he started dating, it felt like I was the parent and he was the kid. I wasn't sure if I was ready to let him go. And the feeling of him not "needing" me anymore was something I had a hard time with. It's funny because I can only imagine how he felt as I grew up and started doing things on my own.

And now he's 2 months away from getting married. And I finally am in a place where not only am I at acceptance with him and his new life, but happy for him as well. Debbie is a lovely woman who makes my dad happy. And I think I've "raised" my dad well enough to make good decisions about who he dates.

Bryan,

you have always been there for me. You know and have shared a lot of my pain. You forced me to play catch with you because you knew I wanted to be a better player (which I hated). And I know that you would do anything and everything for me .
I love you more than I could ever say out loud and very happy for and Debbie.

Happy Father's Day.











Thursday, February 20, 2014

You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine!!! Brushes

So,

my friend Sonnie is seeking advice on what to buy at Sephora with a giftcard she received and inspired me to do a post.

She was thinking about buying some brushes. Awesome! You'll be surprised what good brushes can do. But, not from Sephora.

Face Brushes



There are 3 types of brushes that are essential:
1. Foundation
2. Powder
3. Contour/Highlight/Blush

There are different varieties of these essential brushes depending on the look you are wanting to achieve, or the type of product your using, but we'll keep it simple.

1. Foundation



Real Techniques: Expert Face Brush
Ulta $9.00

This is probably my favorite brush for a full coverage look. It applies the color evenly, and buffs it into your skin for a natural finish. Great for liquid foundations, thick and thin.








Coastal Scents: Bionic Flat Top Buffer
Coastalscents.com $6.95

This is one of my first foundation brushes and is great for beginners. It blends flawlessly and easily and gets the job done. Only $7, it's a steal.

2. Powder

Real Techniques: Powder Brush
Ulta $10

This brush is huge. This is great for setting your foundation with it's loose powder or mineral makeup. I also use this with bronzer for my overall complexion.







Sigma Beauty: F30
Sigmabeauty.com $24

Sigma brushes are amazing. They are exact dupes of Mac brushes and they also have expanded and created unique ones of their own. This is a dupe of a Mac 134 but for half the price. This paddle shaped brush is great for setting your foundation.

3. Contour/Highlight/Blush


Sigma Beauty: F50
Sigmabeauty.com $23

Duo fiber brushes are great because they are versatile. They work great with powders or liquids. You can use this to apply blush, or add highlighter. It's not the best for contour if you are using a larger brush but is great for your overall complexion and bronzer.





Coastal Scents: Classic Blush Angle Small Natural
Coastalscents.com $4.95

Angled brushes are going to give you that "chiseled" look. Contouring is great for flat faces, or round faces such as mine. It gives it dimension and shape and angled brushes are dense enough to apply color but fluffy enough to blend.

Eye Brushes

Eye brushes, you can never have too many of them! Here are 4 essentials that you will need:
1. Flat shader
2. Blending
3. Crease
4. Pencil/detail
5. Eyeliner


1. Flat shader


Coastal Scents: Classic Shadow Medium Natural
Coastalscents.com $2.49

Yes, only $2.49! A flat shader brush is for packing on color onto your lid. Brushes that are slightly tapered like this is also good to blend the edges.

2. Blending


Sigma Beauty: E40
Sigmabeauty.com $14

This brush is a dupe for a 224 brush by Mac. This is a MUST HAVE if you want a smokey look. The worst is seeing someone with dark colors that do not blend.....using this with eyeshadow or by itself is necessary. 

3. Crease

 Mac Cosmetics: 217
maccosmetics.com $24

This brush changed my life and is so amazing that I'm posting the original. The 217 brush is an oval shaped blending brush. It applies color and blends it out for a soft look. Of course they have these brushes on coastal scents or sigma, but if you are going to splurge on a higher end brush, this would be the one.

4. Pencil/detail

Sigma Beauty: E30
Sigmabeauty.com $12

Having a pencil brush is great for your lower lash line, inner corners, or for a precise line in the crease.



5. Liner



Coastal Scents: Classic Angled Liner Synthetic
Coastalscents.com $1.95

You need a brush for eyeliner if you are using a gel/cream eyeliner. This is also for using a shadow as a liner and want to put a more precise line on your lower lash line. 




Okay,

so we covered our basics for brushes. Now, what to do with that gift card?

Well, I'm a little tired from writing about brushes. I will be back another time to finish this thought.

Hope you learned something!

Until next time,













Friday, November 29, 2013

Friends Thanksgiving

I came across this post which ranked all the "Friends" Thanksgiving episodes from worst to best. I disagreed with some of them so I wanted to make my own list!

So there are 10 seasons therefore there are 10 episodes (technically only 9).


To see the original post, check it out here.




List by season:



Season 1: The One Where Underdog Gets Away
Season 2: The One With the List
Season 3: The One With the Football
Season 4: The One With Chandler in a Box
Season 5: The One With All the Thanksgivings
Season 6: The One Where Ross Got High
Season 7: The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs
Season 8: The One With the Rumor
Season 9: The One With Rachel’s Other Sister
Season 10: The One With the Late Thanksgiving

Rankings:


10. The One with the List







Although this episode is an important factor to Ross and Rachel's relationships, it really isn't focused on Thanksgiving, so I can't give it a high ranking.

Episode Highlights:
Phoebe's song about Neil, Betty and Loolie
Chandler's short story with Rachel's name in it




9. The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs



Mr. Clunkers





This episode has its funny moments but I never cared much for Tag. It's an okay story line but not the strongest. I'm ranking this as number 9 because it is more Thanksgiving-y than The one with the List.

Episode Highlights:
The States game, Joey wins with 56 states
"It's a moo point."
Phoebe screaming at Chandler, "wash your hands!" "how did you know?!"

8. The One with Chandler in a Box




I kind of feel bad by ranking these episodes because of the guests in the episode. Season 4 is one of my favorite seasons but I hate Cathy. I'm not really sure why, but I never liked her! I love watching Chandler and Joey's friendship and Dr. Burke is very good looking, but Cathy is just ehh.....

Episode Highlights:
Joey's Italian
"Fine, judge all you want to, but married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girls wooden leg in the fire, living in a box!"


7. The One with All the Thanksgivings









The Buzzfeed post had this ranked as number 1. Although every scenario are based around Thanksgiving, you'd think it would the ultimate Thanksgiving episode. However, I'm really measuring by laughing factor. But I do love me some Ross and Chandler college roommate bonding. 

Episode Highlights:
"You finally made her full!"
"Of course they did, they are made from wicker."
Chandler and Monica's first "I love you"



 6. The One Where Ross Gets High








Oh Rachel, you weren't supposed to put beef in the trifle. I love most episodes that involve Monica and Ross and their childhood. Minus Monica's outfit in this episode, this is a good one! 

Episode Highlights:
Judy and Jack Gellar, I just love them. Jack's dandruff, and Judy's bluntness..."No you weren't supposed to put beef in the trifle, it did NOT taste good. And Phoebe, I think Jacques Cousteau is dead." 
Eating the trifle and Joey's acting lesson. "MMMMmmmm.....It's good." I say that all the time when I eat things even though no one knows what I'm talking about. 
and of course, "it tastes like feet"

5. The One with Rachel's Other Sister






I had a hard time trying to place this one because this is one of my favorite episodes. The majority of the episode is at the dinner table which is a plus.

Episode Highlights:

Crazy plate lady "no, you're all about the fun."
PHOEBE
Chandler is a good liar, and also giant moron

4. The One Where Underdog Gets Away




The episode that started it all. And the episode that taught me what VD was and the song "Don't Stand So Close to Me"

Episode Highlights:
You said got the Keys. No, I said got the keys? Does anybody even have the keyees?
Joey: I got a question, I don't see any tots
Only dogs can hear you now
Potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined, potatoes are ruined

 3. The One With the Rumor








Brad Pitt. Enough said.

Episode Highlights:
My two greatest enemies, Rachel Green and complex carboyhydrates
Phoebe: Come on Will, just take off your shirt and tell us
Joey's turkey, you are my everest
Ross's kiss, she didn't look 50...Chandler: Did she look 16?

2. The One with the Football









This is by far the most "iconic" Thanksgiving episode and it is one of my all time favorite episodes. Again, anything with the Gellars cracks me up. It was a tough call but growing up I remember being really freaked out by the Dutch girl which is why I placed this at number two. 

Episode Highlights:
 The Gellar Cup
Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater
Come on you hairy back mary's
You dated a guy with a glass eye too? 
I thought you said you knew what you were doing. Phoebe: I thought you meant in life
In the huddle: So what do you guys really think about Chandler

1. The One with the Late Thanksgiving








Season 10 is my number 1. This one was one of those where I was constantly laughing at all the joke and even now it still makes me laugh.

Episode Highlights:
The floating heads
Joey's stare
When Chandler says it's not fair to them to have to do Thanksgiving every year, Joey: you don't put words into people's mouths, you put turkey into people's mouths!
Aleisha May Emory, the waiting, the wondering...then one day I got a call from Toys R' Us, she was in stock!
Rock, paper, scissors, fire...water balloon
Joey's hand-Ross: for the love of god take it off! 
The vein 

Another half-assed post but I wanted to do something short and sweet and fun. I love Friends and I can't believe it's been almost 10 years since it's been on the air and 20 when it first started! Still hoping and praying for a reunion movie even though they've already said they wouldn't do one. 




Sincerely, 












Saturday, November 23, 2013

Another Birthday Gift

Well it's Saturday night and I am sick as a dog. Spent the day laying in bed watching the livestream for #1DDay and trying to figure out how to get BBC America so I can watch Day of the Doctor (with no luck so no spoilers please).
I'm waiting on my Chinese food to be delivered while watching Frasier on Netflix. I've started a Dexter marathon but I try to refrain watching it by myself at night. So, I thought there was no better time to blog because it's been awhile.

I had made a rough draft awhile ago but it never felt complete and I didn't know how to word what I wanted to say (a problem I have frequently). And I'm sure you can imagine, whether it's blogging, writing in a journal or just talking about past memories, it can bring emotions to the surface.

But anyway, here we go.

It just turned October and the Arizona weather finally turned "cool" at an average of 75-80 degrees.
It was a Sunday night and me and Zack were craving sushi and it was late at night so we went to a Bashas' got some food but no sushi. There was a Fry's that was not too far away and so we headed that direction to find some sushi (Sushi at a grocery store? Yes, we were desperate).

I was at the stoplight when my phone rang, it was a call from my father. It was 10:07 when he called, and now that I'm thinking about it, that would be midnight his time.
"I have some bad news..." (didn't I just blog about this for a different situation?)
I just remember saying-oh my God, what?

light turns green

"Grandpa Fessler....had a heart attack...."
There was a long pause and I was waiting and waiting for the end of that sentence. I was waiting to hear that he's in the hospital and he's going to be okay.
But that did not happen.
"He didn't make it, Jen. Grandpa died tonight."

I just kept saying oh my God...my heart stopped. I parked at Fry's.

I was confused. My dad's voice seemed so calm. I just saw Grandpa last time I went home. When is the visitation going to be? When do I need to leave? How much time am I going to need to take off from work?

And then all I could think about was, "how is Grandma?"

 





My grandparents are very unique individuals and you won't ever meet anyone like them. If you could imagine your stereotypical Iowa farm family, that would be them. We lived about 3 hours away from the family farm and I would fall asleep as we drove across I-80. I remember I would ask my dad what was the exact time that it would take to get there and then I would set the timer on my super cool sports watch and go fall asleep (he was always within 1 or 2 minutes if not seconds). I remember I knew when we were getting close because I would tell my parents to wake me up when we got to the "rocks" which was the gravel road that led to their house.
Here is a small list to summarize my childhood memories at Grandma and Grandpa's house:
  • Sleeping in the orange room with a drawing of my grandparents that always scared us grand kids that we would take it off the wall. Then to find out it it was drawn by my aunt, whoops. 
  • There was no dishwasher and so after every meal my grandma, my dad, my aunt, my uncle and some of my cousins would do the dishes as they all shared a laugh. 
  • DO NOT flush the toilet paper down the toilet. Zack thought I was trying to scare him when I told him. 
  • Playing any kind of game after dinner. Cranium, Sequence, Rules of the Game were some of my favorites.
  • Eating any of my grandma's food, especially stew, and homemade pumpkin pie WITH homemade crust.


The last time I saw my Grandpa was when I came home for the Get Your Rear in Gear race. I never was big about celebrating my birthday, especially now because it's more about the remembrance of my mom. But this year, I think it was different and special. An unbeknownst to me, as well as anyone else, it was the gift of seeing him one last time and creating one more memory.
It was the day before the race and I was making salads and dips for the luncheon the next day. My grandparents came and Grandpa handed me a bag full vegetables from their garden. We made taco dip, guacamole and cucumber salad. Grandpa peeled and sliced the cucumbers while telling me about how his mom used to lay out all the cucumbers out flat on a plate (he was quite the story teller, I think I inherited that from him). It was just the three of us around the counter cooking together, it was a very picturesque moment.

For most of you that know me, knows that my lucky number is 13. It started when I was in 2nd grade in Ms. Peterson's class. Growing up, I had planned out my life and that 2013 was going to be the best year. I was going to be married, graduated from college and possibly in med school. I remember Grandpa Al and Judy were talking with Grandma and Grandpa Fessler. They talked about my grandma's incident where she broke her jaw earlier this year, and my Grandpa's journey with radiation. As they were saying their goodbyes, Judy said, "I hope the rest of 2013
 goes a lot better for you."

Irony, huh.

As most of my friends and family would tell you, I can be pretty... emotion-less.
I would say I got my "tough-love" mentality from my mother. Even though I remember when I was younger, she told me to stop being so emotional. I must've changed a little since then.
So when I found myself being over emotional at my grandpa's funeral, I was in shock. You may be thinking, but it's only natural to cry and be sad at a family members funeral but this was different. I had my period of grief and felt like I was at acceptance with what had happened. But I felt like I was feeding off of others' emotions. The way my grandma stayed so strong, watching my cousin's son say goodbye to Grandpa at his casket, watching my dad and his brother and sister mourn for their father. I know my dad went through the loss of his wife which is a different experience of losing a parent. But I felt like I could feel his pain, now that his dad was gone.
Then as we were exiting the church, I heard it. I heard the song that I so desperately wished not to hear; On Eagle's Wings. The very song they played at mom's funeral. Although it was just the musical version, I knew what it was, and I could hear the words being sung. I could hear my mom's voice singing after all those times on Sundays at church.

And that's when I lost it.

I got out of there as fast as I could and the first person I see outside of the chapel was my Grandpa Al and I gave him the biggest hug. I could feel his pain, as someone who has lost a parent, a wife, and a daughter.

I remember at all the different celebrations we had at the Walnut room at the bank, be it a 50th birthday or graduation parties, I always was dubbed as the photographer of people talking at the event. Which I was always annoyed at because I felt creepy stalking people taking their picture or because I'd rather talk to people and be in the pictures because I'm so photogenic.

But after everything that has happened in my life, I realized how important it is to take those pictures, to live in those moments and have something to remember them by.

I know people are going to find this music video irrelevant if not eye rolling because it's One Direction. But when I first saw this video, I cried. I thought of all the photo albums we have at my house. What I would do to be able to relive those moments, and to freeze time. I wish it was like Mary Poppins, when they jump into the picture/sidewalk chalk. I wish I could jump into a picture and just watch. Watch when I arrived to the Des Moines airport to my new family that cold day in January. Watch the all softball games and all the times I spent pitching with my dad on his bucket. Or all the times we stopped at the gas station at 6 am before we left for the tournament and we shared cosmic brownies for breakfast. Watch the time my parents dropped me off at Martin, and moved me into my dorm room. I could go on and on...



Just another reflective post that's a little half-assed to be honest. But it has been awhile since I took the time to write a blog post so I wanted to get something in.
Hopefully, next time I can share something a little more "brighter."

As always, thanks for reading :)

Sincerely,